Pink & Blue Mummyland

Pink and blue parenting through pink and blue moods….

The cast

There’s a big cast in the musical that makes up my day.

My husband is the glue that holds us all together, who in one breath can save me and drive me slightly bonkers. I call him The Cable Guy, because he is the one who makes all the technology in my house work. All the things that save my life – the computer, the phones, the tablets, the DVD player – work because he plugs them into the right places. I am never in a position where I’m unable to call on an episode of Veggietales for twenty minutes peace and quiet. The flip side of this is that my house is FULL of cables, inexplicably draped over furniture and decorating floors. He is the man who, when given a broken electrical item, will take himself off into a quiet space, fiddle a bit, then yell “it’s fixed!” when it’s still in 23 pieces.

Mini Me is five, and knows everything. She started off fighting, a little wrinkled 2lb 13oz (1.275kg) bundle who cried even when the doctors told us she wouldn’t. She’s retained and improved her gift of constant noise – her incessant running commentary keeps me informed of all the mischief she and her brother are planning. She has so much of me in her – she’s so sensitive to everything. I love her so much it hurts, and worry every day about what I can so to help her grow into a person who can function in this crazy, painful world. Fortunately, when she’s sad, she will talk to Jesus and tell me how He is going to make everything better – she already knows that He will do a better job than me.

MicroBob is the spitting image of The Cable Guy (whose work nickname is Bob, for very little reason). So much so, in fact, that when he saw baby photos of his Daddy he pointed at each one in turn and said “it’s me! And me! And more me!” MicroBob likes numbers. Although he was only three in November, his mental arithmetic is better than mine. I don’t tell him my weekly food budget or he would sit in the trolley round Sainsburys, look at me through the thick glasses that make his eyes look even more innocent, and tell me “stop Mummy! Too much money!”

My ICE Girls are my backbone. My church would call them my Prayer Triplet, but they are so much more than that. In fact, as I am writing this, one is doing laundry loads for me. These are the ladies who, in my mobile phone contacts, are my In Case of Emergency numbers. They love me like Jesus – which, believe me, is a hard job. Between them, Beauty ICE and Lawyer ICE are helping me grow up. It’s a hard job, but somebody has to do it.

And me? My job is to write and to speak about self-harm and recovery from addiction. I spend many of my days telling people how to recover when I’m not really sure I’ve done it myself yet. I tell people about how much God loves them, then come home and try to work out if it counts as much for me. At events I get introduced as an expert, when in truth I’m still walking a path on which the only thing I’m an expert in is picking myself up off the floor to start again. Of all the things that make up ‘me’, the only important one is that I’m a child of God.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin…..


3 responses to “The cast

  1. […] sharing. Her name is Natalya, although some of you will know her as Beauty ICE (go and read about The Cast if that makes no sense to you!), and this is what she […]

  2. […] also managed to have some relaxed and elongated time with my best friends, Beauty ICE and Lawyer ICE. Our normal prayer times are odd hours, grabbed from between jobs and school runs, so it was lovely […]

  3. Cara says:

    You are an inspiration! I remember the day that I first saw you. A lovely lady who was standing up on the spring harvest stage talking about her book and everything she was saying was sinking right into my heart.
    I knew I had to go and hear you speak at the seminar later that day. I did and I remember when we first spoke, I was petrified you could see right into what I was hiding but even if you did see you just gently smiled at me and said “you will get there” those words have stayed with me and now I can say that I am getting there and it was you who helped me begin my step of recovery! You gave me hope, hope that I was worth reaching for freedom.

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